Over the last couple of months, I haven’t been posting but I still feel like I have accomplished a lot! The kids and I wrapped up the school year a little bit early because we all needed a break. Eric and I celebrated our ten year anniversary. We went hiking a few times, canoeing on one occasion, and hit up the dollar theater one other Saturday afternoon. I’m only six pounds away from my goal weight. I have decluttered our bookshelves and visited the secondhand bookstore to sell our discards. A dear family from our church lost a member, a 34-year old father of two, and we grieved with them. I set up my closet in a more functional way and officially began Project 333 for the first time. I saw my doctor for my annual physical, and he declared me one of the healthiest women my age he’s seen. “My age”: I still don’t know what that’s supposed to mean. We had a new back door installed, which has increased the functionality of our utility room x10 and ordered four new windows to replace some rotten ones. I had my new braces adjusted once (ouch!). The boys helped me plant a flower garden, and we settled into a nice rhythm for summer.
I mayhaps have not been writing, but there’s no shortage of things to talk about! I wish I could cover everything at once, but I know you need me to narrow it down. If one goes almost three months without posting, sometimes all the topics compete for attention and overwhelm might paralyze a girl, keeping her from writing anything at all. Not that it has ever happened to me, I’m just saying it could happen. Hypothetically… Ahem. All the things want to be told, but I will pick just one….
How about that ten year anniversary I mentioned!
Frankly, I can’t believe that Eric and I have been married more than ten years! We didn’t make a big fanfare about it: I just posted a little celebratory picture (courtesy a reluctant little boy named Seth, haha!) of the two of us on Instagram, and then the next day we took the boys out for a day of fun. Something about hitting the decade mark felt so inherently special. Nothing really changed, but it still feels so different on this side. As a matter of fact, I feel better about being married to Eric now than I ever have! He is truly the best surprise gift God ever handed me, and I don’t deserve a bit of this happiness but I’m so glad he’s mine.
The best advice I could offer a couple that’s just getting started: take the word “divorce” out of your dictionary. We took that off the table at the very beginning, deciding that we’d never even allow that to enter our discussions. It’s just not an option! We will fight for this thing we’ve got with everything we’ve got, and our kids will never hear us enter into the sort of negotiations that might cause us to part ways forever. We believe that loving is something you do and not something you feel. I choose to stay next to this man, even when my feelings steer me otherwise. I promised to love him forever, and I do and I do and I do all over again, even when conflict rears its ugly head.
Trust me, the odds were not in our favor when we started out! Maybe one day I’ll put it all in my memoir. Trust me when I say there’s no rational reason that this thing has worked, and I stand amazed that it has, and it has worked so well! Maybe it has come to this point because the Lord has shown me that people will always disappoint me, but He is always the same Good Father. Living in that knowledge, I can never expect Eric to satisfy parts of my soul that he was never intended to satisfy. Or maybe our marriage works because we’ve learned that forgiveness should be a given. And I am ever so thankful that Eric is willing to forgive me, because he needs to do so perhaps twice as often as I ever forgive him!
Whatever it is that keeps us together, I thank God for it. Pinch me, is this really my life?! I’m just that grateful.