Is it really Monday again? The weeks are just flying by, and there’s nothing I can do to make it slow down. I’ve put some effort into brainstorming productivity ideas lately so I can harness more time and do more of the things I enjoy… (ahem, writing. Ahem, reading…) I’ve written a timed daily agenda, set up notifications in the MinimaList app, started habit tracking… and it’s really helping me feel motivated and more peaceful!
On the other hand, there’s only a limited amount of time in the day to harness, and only so much I can do with what’s left of it after all my responsibilities are handled. At the end of the day, I can either choose to carve out of my sleep time in order to write (or read more), or something has to be removed from my schedule. It’s a tough choice to make.
The good news is that I’m full of ideas. The bad news is that I don’t have time to act on all of them! But, I’m getting better at writing them down when they come to me so I can use them later. I’m writing far more than I was, and I’m not even anxious to put it all “out there” right now. I’m happy to keep some of it to myself for a while so I can polish it and make it right. I hope one day my writing will help people, so it’s important to me to be methodical with the work.
Time is always moving, just like the creek that runs behind my parents’ home. When I was a teenager, I often hiked to the creek with a journal and a punk rock mixtape playing in my Walkman. There, I’d sit on a big mossy rock with my thoughts and think about the future.
Here I am, twenty years later, and I’m realizing that I am not the same person I was when I was 16. And I’m not the same person I will be when I am 56. All I have is what is right in this moment. I can’t stretch the moment to be any more than what it already is, and it’s not in my best interest to try and do more with this moment than I am intended to do.
We took the kids down to the creek this weekend, and everyone had a ton of fun chunking rocks into the water and walking on logs and scaling the side of the hills as if we were billy goats. I’m not as much of an outdoors gal as I’d like to be, but my boys keep me outside and I’m actually grateful for it. The fresh air is like tonic, and it cleans out my musty thoughts.
Life keeps moving along, and I need to just go with the flow. I want to control all the details, but that is exhausting and pointless and so-just-not-my-job-description! When the rapids are approaching, I like to grab onto the occasional rock to try and stop progress (because what’s on the other side? It’s too scarrrry!), but all that ever does is bloody up my fingertips.
God knows I need these kids to keep reminding me that sometimes on the other side of rushing white water is a really peaceful place to collect my thoughts and practice skipping stones (or chunking them for that matter…) just for the fun of it.